A Fly on the Wall at Trump Headquarters

By Bud Koenemund

  I would love to sit in on a ManChild Trump campaign strategy meeting. I’d be fascinated to learn if the word “no” is ever spoken. Is anyone brave enough to advise MCT this or that stance might not be wise, since he voiced the opposite position just weeks or months before? Does anyone attempt to deliver gentle reminders that the Internet exists, and anything said will be fact checked seconds after it leaves his mouth?

  Or, does his staff chase after MCT like Mr. Salt following Veruca around the chocolate factory; afraid he’ll throw a tantrum, or threaten to tell mommy; sulk, or hold his breath until he gets his way? Do they simply creep around the halls, and cower behind their desks, waiting (as a friend recently posited) for the big payday if MCT wins?

  I wonder if campaign headquarters resembles The Ministry of Truth in Nineteen Eighty-Four. Minion who could work out the truth if they dared to think, silently following orders; dutifully typing up the latest pronouncements of their infallible leader lest they be hauled off to Room 101 of MCT Tower and clamped in whatever torture device haunts their nightmares. “Last week we were at war with Eastasia, but this week we’re fighting to protect the LGBTQ community…well, OK.”