For TK
Inspired by Jack,
Neal, and Allen
We could see the darkness and were blind in
the light. We stood, dumb, as a vomit of colors, and words, and numbers whirled
around us. We were everything, and everywhere, not with each other, but within
everyone; enveloped by a stream of power, drowned and reborn. It was beautiful.
And, more beautiful because it was not limited by any form or definition. The
waves swept away all thought of past or future. There was only the now, and we
were it, and it would never end. It was an explosion, like the birth of the
universe, and the death of everything all at once. We wielded energy, pure and
liquid, against a roiling sky of neon. We were omnipotent within the world of
our minds; and yet powerless to save ourselves. Our minds burned with the fever
of knowledge; knowing everything, comprehending everything, thirsting for more,
even as it all fell away as quickly as it came. A hurricane raged around us, stripping
away our doubt, revealing in chaos: order. We reached out to touch it, to embrace
it, and somehow pull it back within us before consciousness blotted it from our
brains; struggling to save some small fragment of it. But, it could not be. It
could not live beyond this dream, and so much was lost as our eyes opened, once
more blind in the light of day.
24 August 2012
18 August 2012
The Commandments of Will
So, I've been digging through The Bible, and I've discovered several more of God's commandments meant to be obeyed without question or interpretation:
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The Commandments of Will
(Researched and collected by The Mad Sonneteer)
1. The Word of Will is eternal and unchanging. To question His authorship shall be heresy. (Lev. 28: 13-14)
2. Thou shalt not take the name of Will in vain. (Deut. 35: 17)
3. Thou shalt remember the sonnets and keep them holy. (Ex. 41: 7)
4. Thou shalt not worship Oxford as I have commanded thee worship Will. (Lev. 28: 24)
5. Thou shalt smite Oxfordians with the Word of Will that they might repent their sin. (Deut. 35: 33)
6. Thou shalt not lie with an Oxfordian as with a Stratfordian. (Lev. 28: 69)
7. The Oxfordian lifestyle shall be considered an abomination, and the blasphemous shall burn in the eternal fires of summer-session Remedial English classes. (Lev. 28: 10-11)
8. Thou shalt not suffer Russell Brand to portray any character of Will. (Prov. 32: 67)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Commandments of Will
(Researched and collected by The Mad Sonneteer)
1. The Word of Will is eternal and unchanging. To question His authorship shall be heresy. (Lev. 28: 13-14)
2. Thou shalt not take the name of Will in vain. (Deut. 35: 17)
3. Thou shalt remember the sonnets and keep them holy. (Ex. 41: 7)
4. Thou shalt not worship Oxford as I have commanded thee worship Will. (Lev. 28: 24)
5. Thou shalt smite Oxfordians with the Word of Will that they might repent their sin. (Deut. 35: 33)
6. Thou shalt not lie with an Oxfordian as with a Stratfordian. (Lev. 28: 69)
7. The Oxfordian lifestyle shall be considered an abomination, and the blasphemous shall burn in the eternal fires of summer-session Remedial English classes. (Lev. 28: 10-11)
8. Thou shalt not suffer Russell Brand to portray any character of Will. (Prov. 32: 67)
24 May 2012
Death, and the Victim
There are some things that time cannot mend, some hurts that go too deep.
- J.R.R. Tolkien
It wasn’t like I was an attractive child; “Husky” was the diplomatic euphemism the J.C. Penney catalog used to describe my body-type. Of course, being beautiful would not have been any kind of excuse for the things he did…for what he took from me.
For years, I’ve been able to lock the memories away; way back amongst the cobwebs in a seldom visited corner of my mind. Occasionally, of course, something would remind me – catching a whiff of cigar smoke, seeing someone chewing tobacco, a news story about a child being sexually abused – but I’d quickly push the memories back into that corner, until now.
Why dredge up the memories now, after nearly three decades? Why reveal something that I’ve never told another living soul? Because, my maternal grandfather, Arthur H. Monigold, the man who sexually assaulted me several times in the early 1980s, is dead.
He was diagnosed with Cancer early in 2007, but he didn’t tell anyone. A week before he died, while he lay in a hospital bed, his doctors informed family members that they expected him to die at any time. And, on October 17, 2008 – my 40th birthday – he did.
Standing beside his casket; seeing him for only the third time in nearly 25 years – knowing that it would be the last time I would see him on this earth – he didn’t look like “Grampa.” He was no longer the man who towered over me back when I was knee-high to a grasshopper. He looked like a wax sculpture. His once-strong fingers and sharp hawk-like nose were withered and shrunken. He was nothing more than a pile of wrinkled, leathery skin buttoned up in the last suit he’ll ever own.
And I was happy to see him off. It took a long time, certainly a lot longer than expected, or deserved, but I guess that if the good die young, the evil seem to live damned-near forever.
Most people will find it a bit strange that I’m celebrating a death in the family. I don’t mean celebrating the life which preceded the shuffling off of the mortal coil, but actually rejoicing that a family member is now residing in the deepest, darkest, hottest pit, in the lowest level of Hell, with several demons assigned to make his eternity as terrifyingly uncomfortable as possible. I assure you, my vivid imagination turns to the worst horrors that John Milton and Dante Alighieri ever described.
I could tell you some of the good things the man did in his life. He served in the United States Army during World War II. He spent decades working in Ohio steel mills. He married, fathered seven children, and adopted another. He provided food and education for the entire clan, and watched them all marry-off.
But those good things only make what he did to me more difficult to understand. His abuse wasn’t like a father teaching his son to be tough by telling him not to cry when he skinned his knee, or when he got hit by a pitch while playing baseball. It was a grown-up taking sexual advantage of a child. A child entrusted to his care, a child who trusted him; a child who was probably more damaged by keeping the secret of the abuse, than by the actual abuse. My grandfather told me not to tell anyone, and I didn’t…for nearly thirty years.
I wasn’t the only child he abused. Unfortunately, I’ve learned of three other children – all family members – that he hurt. In addition, over the last several years, I’ve received hints and heard rumors about his abuse of two other family members. The knowledge that I might have been able to stop some of the others from being hurt burns me – if I had just told on him – if I hadn’t kept his secret…
When I learned of his imminent death, I did not travel to Ohio for some kind of death-bed reconciliation. I did not wish to hear an apology or an excuse – if he had even offered one. Too many of my “issues” can be traced directly back to his abuse.
It is why I don’t like being touched by any but my closest friends. It is why I don’t trust many people – and rarely give a second chance to the few I do. It is the biggest reason why I don’t sleep at night, even in my own bed. It is the reason that I am always suspicious of peoples’ intentions with children and constantly self-conscious about my interactions with my 4-year-old niece. No, I felt – and still feel – no need or desire to forgive him or to forget what he did to me!
What I do feel is hate! Hatred at him for what he took, and hatred at myself because I let him take it! Because I couldn’t do anything…because I still can’t do anything. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to drive to Ohio and strangle the life out of him with my bare hands. I wanted to look into his eyes as the life left them, and see his final realization that I was taking something valuable from him. But I didn’t. I didn’t use the fact that I’m bigger and stronger than someone else to hurt them!
Too often, I hear people use their own past sexual abuse as an excuse to explain their abuse of a child. As if that is any kind of justification for visiting that kind of pain on a child. As if there could ever be any justification for that. Yes, I was sexually abused as a boy, but I would drag razor blades across my eyeballs before I would intentionally hurt a child.
I didn’t make a scene at the funeral home. I politely declined a request to serve as a pall-bearer. And, despite my repeated blustering that I would remain at the cemetery to help the workers cover him with dirt, I did not. Before the service began, however, I found a quiet moment to stand beside his casket and slide a list of his crimes – the ones I know about – inside his jacket, as a kind of boarding pass for the trip to Hell. I wanted to make sure that the Devil didn’t miss anything.
This revelation…this confession…is not about finding some kind of closure for myself. I’m certain that if I haven’t found closure by now, I never will. No, this is about the truth; a truth that should have come out a very long time ago.
I know, of course, that I’ll see my grandfather again…someday. We will have a lot to talk about while we both spend eternity in Hell. Until that day, however, I’ll go on living my life as best I can – an endeavour more difficult some days than others. As painful as it is, I’m trying to learn to accept the past for what it is – rather than pushing it back into that dark corner – because I know that it will always be there, and I can’t change it now.
F. Scott Fitzgerald illustrates this struggle in the last sentence of The Great Gatsby. He writes, “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” The fact is, we each suffer from the accumulated wounds of our lifetime. We can wash away the scabs of immediacy, but the scars remain to remind us of the pain much longer…sometimes forever. My scars will never fade completely. My memories will always have the power to carry me back to the past. All I can do is beat on against that current.
For information about missing, abused, neglected, and murdered children, please visit these sites:
Child Abuse and Neglect – HelpGuide.org: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm
The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PublicHomeServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US
The National Sex Offender Public Website: http://www.nsopr.gov/
NetSafeKids Home Page: http://www.nap.edu/netsafekids/
- J.R.R. Tolkien
It wasn’t like I was an attractive child; “Husky” was the diplomatic euphemism the J.C. Penney catalog used to describe my body-type. Of course, being beautiful would not have been any kind of excuse for the things he did…for what he took from me.
For years, I’ve been able to lock the memories away; way back amongst the cobwebs in a seldom visited corner of my mind. Occasionally, of course, something would remind me – catching a whiff of cigar smoke, seeing someone chewing tobacco, a news story about a child being sexually abused – but I’d quickly push the memories back into that corner, until now.
Why dredge up the memories now, after nearly three decades? Why reveal something that I’ve never told another living soul? Because, my maternal grandfather, Arthur H. Monigold, the man who sexually assaulted me several times in the early 1980s, is dead.
He was diagnosed with Cancer early in 2007, but he didn’t tell anyone. A week before he died, while he lay in a hospital bed, his doctors informed family members that they expected him to die at any time. And, on October 17, 2008 – my 40th birthday – he did.
Standing beside his casket; seeing him for only the third time in nearly 25 years – knowing that it would be the last time I would see him on this earth – he didn’t look like “Grampa.” He was no longer the man who towered over me back when I was knee-high to a grasshopper. He looked like a wax sculpture. His once-strong fingers and sharp hawk-like nose were withered and shrunken. He was nothing more than a pile of wrinkled, leathery skin buttoned up in the last suit he’ll ever own.
And I was happy to see him off. It took a long time, certainly a lot longer than expected, or deserved, but I guess that if the good die young, the evil seem to live damned-near forever.
Most people will find it a bit strange that I’m celebrating a death in the family. I don’t mean celebrating the life which preceded the shuffling off of the mortal coil, but actually rejoicing that a family member is now residing in the deepest, darkest, hottest pit, in the lowest level of Hell, with several demons assigned to make his eternity as terrifyingly uncomfortable as possible. I assure you, my vivid imagination turns to the worst horrors that John Milton and Dante Alighieri ever described.
I could tell you some of the good things the man did in his life. He served in the United States Army during World War II. He spent decades working in Ohio steel mills. He married, fathered seven children, and adopted another. He provided food and education for the entire clan, and watched them all marry-off.
But those good things only make what he did to me more difficult to understand. His abuse wasn’t like a father teaching his son to be tough by telling him not to cry when he skinned his knee, or when he got hit by a pitch while playing baseball. It was a grown-up taking sexual advantage of a child. A child entrusted to his care, a child who trusted him; a child who was probably more damaged by keeping the secret of the abuse, than by the actual abuse. My grandfather told me not to tell anyone, and I didn’t…for nearly thirty years.
I wasn’t the only child he abused. Unfortunately, I’ve learned of three other children – all family members – that he hurt. In addition, over the last several years, I’ve received hints and heard rumors about his abuse of two other family members. The knowledge that I might have been able to stop some of the others from being hurt burns me – if I had just told on him – if I hadn’t kept his secret…
When I learned of his imminent death, I did not travel to Ohio for some kind of death-bed reconciliation. I did not wish to hear an apology or an excuse – if he had even offered one. Too many of my “issues” can be traced directly back to his abuse.
It is why I don’t like being touched by any but my closest friends. It is why I don’t trust many people – and rarely give a second chance to the few I do. It is the biggest reason why I don’t sleep at night, even in my own bed. It is the reason that I am always suspicious of peoples’ intentions with children and constantly self-conscious about my interactions with my 4-year-old niece. No, I felt – and still feel – no need or desire to forgive him or to forget what he did to me!
What I do feel is hate! Hatred at him for what he took, and hatred at myself because I let him take it! Because I couldn’t do anything…because I still can’t do anything. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to drive to Ohio and strangle the life out of him with my bare hands. I wanted to look into his eyes as the life left them, and see his final realization that I was taking something valuable from him. But I didn’t. I didn’t use the fact that I’m bigger and stronger than someone else to hurt them!
Too often, I hear people use their own past sexual abuse as an excuse to explain their abuse of a child. As if that is any kind of justification for visiting that kind of pain on a child. As if there could ever be any justification for that. Yes, I was sexually abused as a boy, but I would drag razor blades across my eyeballs before I would intentionally hurt a child.
I didn’t make a scene at the funeral home. I politely declined a request to serve as a pall-bearer. And, despite my repeated blustering that I would remain at the cemetery to help the workers cover him with dirt, I did not. Before the service began, however, I found a quiet moment to stand beside his casket and slide a list of his crimes – the ones I know about – inside his jacket, as a kind of boarding pass for the trip to Hell. I wanted to make sure that the Devil didn’t miss anything.
This revelation…this confession…is not about finding some kind of closure for myself. I’m certain that if I haven’t found closure by now, I never will. No, this is about the truth; a truth that should have come out a very long time ago.
I know, of course, that I’ll see my grandfather again…someday. We will have a lot to talk about while we both spend eternity in Hell. Until that day, however, I’ll go on living my life as best I can – an endeavour more difficult some days than others. As painful as it is, I’m trying to learn to accept the past for what it is – rather than pushing it back into that dark corner – because I know that it will always be there, and I can’t change it now.
F. Scott Fitzgerald illustrates this struggle in the last sentence of The Great Gatsby. He writes, “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” The fact is, we each suffer from the accumulated wounds of our lifetime. We can wash away the scabs of immediacy, but the scars remain to remind us of the pain much longer…sometimes forever. My scars will never fade completely. My memories will always have the power to carry me back to the past. All I can do is beat on against that current.
For information about missing, abused, neglected, and murdered children, please visit these sites:
Child Abuse and Neglect – HelpGuide.org: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm
The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PublicHomeServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US
The National Sex Offender Public Website: http://www.nsopr.gov/
NetSafeKids Home Page: http://www.nap.edu/netsafekids/
10 May 2012
05 April 2012
Mets Eliminated from Playoff Race
Announcement comes hours before season's first pitch
FLUSHING, NY (Disassociated Press) – In a move sure to stun many fans of the New York Mets, team officials today announced that the team has been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention this season.
The admission came at Citi Field, just hours before the first pitch in Thursday's season opener against the Atlanta Braves.
"We just feel that it's important to be truthful with our fan base," said Sandy Alderson, Mets General Manager.
Alderson told reporters that a small group made up of team management looked into the team's chances during spring training in Florida.
"We looked at our roster, our current and recent injuries – including those of [supposed franchise shortstop] Jose Reyes - and we looked at what has happened over the last five seasons," Alderson said. "Unfortunately, we determined that this team stood a snowballs chance in Hell of making the playoffs this season."
Following consecutive late season collapses in 2007 and 2008, Mets players suffered a frightening string of injuries in 2009, which virtually crippled the team for most of the year. The 2010 and 2011 seasons proved no better.
"After those three seasons, frankly, we expected a strong rebound in 2010, but we came out of the gate snakebit and never recovered," said Omar Minaya, former Mets General Manager.
Minaya was fired - along with Mets manager Jerry Manuel - following the 2010 season.
"It seemed like every single thing that could go wrong did," Minaya added, "from dropped pop flies against the Yankees, to our closer breaking his hand punching an old man, we saw it all in 2010."
Things did not improve for the team in 2011.
"Truthfully," Alderson said, "at this point, there's a better chance that the world actually will end in 2012 than there is of the Mets playing even .500 baseball this season…much less make the post-season."
Mets players and coaches were disappointed by the announcement.
"Baseball has been very, very good to me, but not this year," Chico Escuela, Mets outfielder, said through an interpreter.
"What can I say? Sadly, eternal optimism doesn't live in Queens anymore," said Terry Collins, current manager of the Mets. "All we can ask is that our fans wait 'til next year…again."
FLUSHING, NY (Disassociated Press) – In a move sure to stun many fans of the New York Mets, team officials today announced that the team has been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention this season.
The admission came at Citi Field, just hours before the first pitch in Thursday's season opener against the Atlanta Braves.
"We just feel that it's important to be truthful with our fan base," said Sandy Alderson, Mets General Manager.
Alderson told reporters that a small group made up of team management looked into the team's chances during spring training in Florida.
"We looked at our roster, our current and recent injuries – including those of [supposed franchise shortstop] Jose Reyes - and we looked at what has happened over the last five seasons," Alderson said. "Unfortunately, we determined that this team stood a snowballs chance in Hell of making the playoffs this season."
Following consecutive late season collapses in 2007 and 2008, Mets players suffered a frightening string of injuries in 2009, which virtually crippled the team for most of the year. The 2010 and 2011 seasons proved no better.
"After those three seasons, frankly, we expected a strong rebound in 2010, but we came out of the gate snakebit and never recovered," said Omar Minaya, former Mets General Manager.
Minaya was fired - along with Mets manager Jerry Manuel - following the 2010 season.
"It seemed like every single thing that could go wrong did," Minaya added, "from dropped pop flies against the Yankees, to our closer breaking his hand punching an old man, we saw it all in 2010."
Things did not improve for the team in 2011.
"Truthfully," Alderson said, "at this point, there's a better chance that the world actually will end in 2012 than there is of the Mets playing even .500 baseball this season…much less make the post-season."
Mets players and coaches were disappointed by the announcement.
"Baseball has been very, very good to me, but not this year," Chico Escuela, Mets outfielder, said through an interpreter.
"What can I say? Sadly, eternal optimism doesn't live in Queens anymore," said Terry Collins, current manager of the Mets. "All we can ask is that our fans wait 'til next year…again."
05 March 2012
Dark Dream
There is a storm coming. The sky is dark with clouds. We are running for shelter – some haven I cannot see. I stretch out my hand to you. You take it – hesitantly at first – but then you squeeze tightly.
We run – breathless in the gathering gloom – through tall grass, as the wind rises in our faces.
I turn and try to say your name, but no words emerge. Something in the grass catches my eye. I stop to see and it's already behind me. I release your hand and walk back to find pens on the ground…my pens. I sense you calling out to me. I look at your face, your mouth is moving, but I hear nothing.
I retrieve my pens and see papers spread out on the ground. They are not blowing in the wind, but entangled in the grass.
They are my papers…my words written for you. I feel panic grow within me as I try to grab them, collecting them before they disappear. Schoolboys in gray uniforms stand nearby, laughing at my efforts. They aren't running – only pointing and calling me a fool.
A cold, hard rain begins to fall. I turn to look for you, and you're gone…
We run – breathless in the gathering gloom – through tall grass, as the wind rises in our faces.
I turn and try to say your name, but no words emerge. Something in the grass catches my eye. I stop to see and it's already behind me. I release your hand and walk back to find pens on the ground…my pens. I sense you calling out to me. I look at your face, your mouth is moving, but I hear nothing.
I retrieve my pens and see papers spread out on the ground. They are not blowing in the wind, but entangled in the grass.
They are my papers…my words written for you. I feel panic grow within me as I try to grab them, collecting them before they disappear. Schoolboys in gray uniforms stand nearby, laughing at my efforts. They aren't running – only pointing and calling me a fool.
A cold, hard rain begins to fall. I turn to look for you, and you're gone…
16 February 2012
This is Not Politics; it is Human Rights
First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out – because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak out for me.
– Martin Niemoller
Governor Christie;
Soon you will bear the responsibility of determining whether same-sex couples will be allowed to marry in New Jersey. Very simply, I hope you will choose the correct path and abolish discrimination against a group of your fellow citizens.
Don’t fool yourself, Governor, it is discrimination. You can quibble about the definition, but when you give one person or group the right or privilege to do something, and then solely and purposely exclude another person or group from that right or privilege – that is discrimination.
When you allow a white man to sit at a lunch counter, but not a black man – that is discrimination. When you allow a man to vote, but not a woman – that is discrimination. And, when you allow a “straight” person the freedom to choose – within age and consensual limits – who they wish to marry, and deny equal freedom to a gay person – that is discrimination.
In the long history of the United States, we have fought for freedom – our own and that of others. But, we have also discriminated against many different peoples. Black people and women fought for decades to win equal rights. Jews, Slavs, the Irish, the Chinese, Cubans; as each new wave of immigrants has landed on our shores they have endured discrimination, and fought for acceptance – for equality.
Sadly, even in 2012, there are people who must fight to be treated equally. They are American citizens. They are teachers, doctors, firefighters, police officers – the list goes on and on. And, in a large percentage of the country, they are being denied a basic human right.
It is, and should be, a right to choose the person you wish to marry, whether that person is another man, another woman, a Jew or a Gentile; whether they are black, white, yellow, or red. Or, even if that person is a Red Sox fan!
For all the bluster and name-calling, when you get right down to it, the issue of same-sex marriage is a simple matter of civil rights – the basic right to be treated equally.
Of course, opponents disagree with this view, and they come to the debate with a slew of “talking points,” statistics, quotes from The Bible, and outright lies, which they use to stir up fear in others and convince them that it is OK to discriminate against those who are different.
Supporters of this discrimination claim that it is vital in order to protect the sanctity of marriage. This is absurd and insulting to the intelligence.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC.gov), in 2008, there were 7.1 marriages and 3.5 divorces per 1,000 Americans. That means that the divorce rate in the United States is nearly half the rate of marriages. Almost 50 percent of these “straight” marriages end in divorce!
In another study, Pew Research Center found that the state of Maine – where discrimination toward same-sex couples was reestablished in 2009 via the passing of Referendum 1 – has the nation’s second highest percentage of divorced people; second only to Nevada. Pew found that, among Maine residents, 15 percent of women (compared to a national average of 12 percent), and 12 percent of men (compared to nine percent nationally) are divorced.
In addition – again, according to the CDC – the rate of divorce in Maine is half a percent higher than the national average (4.6 vs. 4.1 percent).
Another interesting fact uncovered by the CDC report: the rate of divorce in Massachusetts – the first state to allow same-sex marriage – is the lowest in the nation.
Perhaps we should look to Hollywood to find the sacred bond of marriage that opponents speak of. Let’s consider Anna Nicole Smith and the 89-year-old J. Howard Marshall II, whom she married on his death-bed (surely a marriage based on true love), or Elizabeth Taylor, or any of the countless Hollywood “couples” who have married and divorced with alarming regularity.
Or, maybe we could look to our political leaders as the shining examples of this marital sanctity. John McCain, Ted Kennedy, Rudolph Giuliani, Ronald Reagan…all divorced. Arnold Schwarzenegger? Separated, and – given the existence of a love child – one might presume he's on the way to being divorced. Of course, there are some politicians whose marriages have survived; Bill Clinton, John Edwards, and Eliot Spitzer spring to mind.
It seems to me that if we truly wanted to preserve marriage we should campaign to outlaw divorce and stiffen the penalty for adultery, not fight to deny marriage.
Opponents argue that the “right” to get married is not a right guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States – for gay people or straight people. “Therefore,” they claim, “to deny two people of the same sex something like that is not an infringement of such.”
As for the first part, I agree wholeheartedly. Obviously, marriage is not mentioned in the Constitution. Nor should it be. Two consenting adults should not require the sanction of the state in order to get married. I would, however, ask you to look at another document – one just as important to our nation – and read these simple words: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal…” All men. Not all “straight” men. All men!
In response to the second part of the argument, I ask two questions: If the right/privilege/ability of a same-sex couple is not being infringed, what are we arguing about? If no infringement is present then, logically, a same-sex couple should simply be able to walk down to the local courthouse in any city, in any state of the Union, and get a marriage license…just like any “straight” couple, correct?
Unfortunately, that is not the case. In fact, in a majority of the country, a same-sex couple can not receive a marriage license. How is that equality?
Perhaps the most frequent tactic used is quoting of the Scriptures. Opponents of same-sex marriage love to point out The Bible’s condemnation of homosexuality. And, to be honest, it’s my favorite tactic to observe.
“Why,” you ask? I like it because when you challenge “God’s Word,” they get indignant, or feign being insulted, and then usually say something like, “Well, if you’re going to turn this into an attack on Christianity, I’m not even going to debate you.”
This is, of course, simply not true. In actuality, the only thing under attack is the use of their beliefs to limit or deny the rights of people who do not share those particular beliefs.
You see, the freedom of religion guaranteed by the First Amendment to the Constitution is fine with many of them, as long as it means they can worship as they please. But, when you point out that freedom of religion also means freedom from religion – freedom from having the beliefs of others thrust upon you, or their beliefs being used to deny equality – then watch out.
Unfortunately, despite all this professed belief in the Scriptures, words like compassion, charity, and love seem to have been lost in the mire. And, many people seem to have forgotten “The Golden Rule” that Jesus himself gave us in the Book of Luke: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
“The Bible says that homosexuality is an abomination,” they’ll say. Indeed, it does…in some interpretations. But, in addition to telling us what is not permissible, The Bible tells us what is. According to The Bible, slavery, beating your wife, and even human sacrifice are allowed, and in some cases, demanded. Luckily, we as human beings have evolved to a point where those practices are no longer considered acceptable or legal.
The truth is, The Bible is full of allegorical stories that can be interpreted in a number of ways. It was written by men – fallible, imperfect human beings, each with his own agenda and his own prejudices. In addition, it has been passed down through generation after generation, translated, re-interpreted, changed (can anyone say Council of Nicea?), and changed again. No one can truly say that The Bible we read today bears any resemblance to what was originally written.
Of course, if you still believe that The Bible, literally translated, is the final word on the matter, I’ll just ask this: If The Bible tells us that God made man in his own image, wouldn’t that include gay human beings too? And, if that’s so, who are we mere humans to question God’s design?
I don’t understand where this fear of same-sex marriage – of gay people in general – came from. When I joined the United States Army in 1990, I was asked – twice – if I was, or ever had been, a member of the Communist party or of any organization dedicated to the violent overthrow of the government of the United States. I was asked if I was, or ever had been, gay, six times. Six times! Are gay people three times more likely to devote themselves to the destruction of freedom?
Are gay people three times more likely to be bent on bringing about the violent overthrow of the government of the United States? To think this, even for a moment, is ridiculous to the point of absurdity.
I know several same-sex couples. These are not men who haunt dark parking lots outside of adult bookstores. They are committed, hardworking Americans trying to make a living. And, they are as devoted to each other as any “straight” couple I’ve seen.
During my time on this planet, I’ve learned that on most issues there are many points of view. Often, there is more than one “right” answer – more than one way to believe; “There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy,” as William Shakespeare tells us.
In this case, however, the simple fact is this: same-sex marriage should not be a political issue. It is a human issue about justice, equality, and ending discrimination against a group of American citizens.
Too often, this argument revolves around hate and fear, when it should revolve around love. We spend – if we’re lucky – 70 or 80 years on this little ball of dust before we “shuffle off this mortal coil,” so why not try to be happy – and allow others to be happy – while we’re here?
I ask opponents of same-sex marriage to consider a few more simple questions: Does denying the happiness of others make you any happier? How does the marriage of two other people – no matter their genders – affect your marriage? Does defeating same-sex marriage make your own marriage – or any other marriage – stronger?
No one is telling you that you have to be gay. Nor is anyone saying that you have to like gay people or their lifestyle. But, that doesn’t make gay people any less human than you are. It doesn’t make them any less an American citizen than you are. And it certainly doesn’t give you the right to discriminate against them. They are not asking for special treatment or privileges, only for equality. They want – and deserve – the same treatment and respect that every other American citizen receives, no more, no less.
This issue is not important only for gay Americans; it is important for all Americans – gay, straight, black, white, Democrat, Republican, believer, atheist, and everyone in between. You must realize that once you deny equality to one person, or one group of people – once you see them or treat them as something less than you are – you make it that much easier to see everyone as something less than you are. And, eventually, someone will do the same to you. Someday they will come for your rights as well…and there will be no one left to speak out for you.
Mr. Governor; I sincerely hope you will find the courage to help end discrimination against your fellow citizens by signing the bill to allow same-sex marriage in New Jersey.
Thank you,
Bud Koenemund
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (formerly South Orange, New Jersey)
16 February 2012
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out – because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak out for me.
– Martin Niemoller
Governor Christie;
Soon you will bear the responsibility of determining whether same-sex couples will be allowed to marry in New Jersey. Very simply, I hope you will choose the correct path and abolish discrimination against a group of your fellow citizens.
Don’t fool yourself, Governor, it is discrimination. You can quibble about the definition, but when you give one person or group the right or privilege to do something, and then solely and purposely exclude another person or group from that right or privilege – that is discrimination.
When you allow a white man to sit at a lunch counter, but not a black man – that is discrimination. When you allow a man to vote, but not a woman – that is discrimination. And, when you allow a “straight” person the freedom to choose – within age and consensual limits – who they wish to marry, and deny equal freedom to a gay person – that is discrimination.
In the long history of the United States, we have fought for freedom – our own and that of others. But, we have also discriminated against many different peoples. Black people and women fought for decades to win equal rights. Jews, Slavs, the Irish, the Chinese, Cubans; as each new wave of immigrants has landed on our shores they have endured discrimination, and fought for acceptance – for equality.
Sadly, even in 2012, there are people who must fight to be treated equally. They are American citizens. They are teachers, doctors, firefighters, police officers – the list goes on and on. And, in a large percentage of the country, they are being denied a basic human right.
It is, and should be, a right to choose the person you wish to marry, whether that person is another man, another woman, a Jew or a Gentile; whether they are black, white, yellow, or red. Or, even if that person is a Red Sox fan!
For all the bluster and name-calling, when you get right down to it, the issue of same-sex marriage is a simple matter of civil rights – the basic right to be treated equally.
Of course, opponents disagree with this view, and they come to the debate with a slew of “talking points,” statistics, quotes from The Bible, and outright lies, which they use to stir up fear in others and convince them that it is OK to discriminate against those who are different.
Supporters of this discrimination claim that it is vital in order to protect the sanctity of marriage. This is absurd and insulting to the intelligence.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC.gov), in 2008, there were 7.1 marriages and 3.5 divorces per 1,000 Americans. That means that the divorce rate in the United States is nearly half the rate of marriages. Almost 50 percent of these “straight” marriages end in divorce!
In another study, Pew Research Center found that the state of Maine – where discrimination toward same-sex couples was reestablished in 2009 via the passing of Referendum 1 – has the nation’s second highest percentage of divorced people; second only to Nevada. Pew found that, among Maine residents, 15 percent of women (compared to a national average of 12 percent), and 12 percent of men (compared to nine percent nationally) are divorced.
In addition – again, according to the CDC – the rate of divorce in Maine is half a percent higher than the national average (4.6 vs. 4.1 percent).
Another interesting fact uncovered by the CDC report: the rate of divorce in Massachusetts – the first state to allow same-sex marriage – is the lowest in the nation.
Perhaps we should look to Hollywood to find the sacred bond of marriage that opponents speak of. Let’s consider Anna Nicole Smith and the 89-year-old J. Howard Marshall II, whom she married on his death-bed (surely a marriage based on true love), or Elizabeth Taylor, or any of the countless Hollywood “couples” who have married and divorced with alarming regularity.
Or, maybe we could look to our political leaders as the shining examples of this marital sanctity. John McCain, Ted Kennedy, Rudolph Giuliani, Ronald Reagan…all divorced. Arnold Schwarzenegger? Separated, and – given the existence of a love child – one might presume he's on the way to being divorced. Of course, there are some politicians whose marriages have survived; Bill Clinton, John Edwards, and Eliot Spitzer spring to mind.
It seems to me that if we truly wanted to preserve marriage we should campaign to outlaw divorce and stiffen the penalty for adultery, not fight to deny marriage.
Opponents argue that the “right” to get married is not a right guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States – for gay people or straight people. “Therefore,” they claim, “to deny two people of the same sex something like that is not an infringement of such.”
As for the first part, I agree wholeheartedly. Obviously, marriage is not mentioned in the Constitution. Nor should it be. Two consenting adults should not require the sanction of the state in order to get married. I would, however, ask you to look at another document – one just as important to our nation – and read these simple words: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal…” All men. Not all “straight” men. All men!
In response to the second part of the argument, I ask two questions: If the right/privilege/ability of a same-sex couple is not being infringed, what are we arguing about? If no infringement is present then, logically, a same-sex couple should simply be able to walk down to the local courthouse in any city, in any state of the Union, and get a marriage license…just like any “straight” couple, correct?
Unfortunately, that is not the case. In fact, in a majority of the country, a same-sex couple can not receive a marriage license. How is that equality?
Perhaps the most frequent tactic used is quoting of the Scriptures. Opponents of same-sex marriage love to point out The Bible’s condemnation of homosexuality. And, to be honest, it’s my favorite tactic to observe.
“Why,” you ask? I like it because when you challenge “God’s Word,” they get indignant, or feign being insulted, and then usually say something like, “Well, if you’re going to turn this into an attack on Christianity, I’m not even going to debate you.”
This is, of course, simply not true. In actuality, the only thing under attack is the use of their beliefs to limit or deny the rights of people who do not share those particular beliefs.
You see, the freedom of religion guaranteed by the First Amendment to the Constitution is fine with many of them, as long as it means they can worship as they please. But, when you point out that freedom of religion also means freedom from religion – freedom from having the beliefs of others thrust upon you, or their beliefs being used to deny equality – then watch out.
Unfortunately, despite all this professed belief in the Scriptures, words like compassion, charity, and love seem to have been lost in the mire. And, many people seem to have forgotten “The Golden Rule” that Jesus himself gave us in the Book of Luke: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
“The Bible says that homosexuality is an abomination,” they’ll say. Indeed, it does…in some interpretations. But, in addition to telling us what is not permissible, The Bible tells us what is. According to The Bible, slavery, beating your wife, and even human sacrifice are allowed, and in some cases, demanded. Luckily, we as human beings have evolved to a point where those practices are no longer considered acceptable or legal.
The truth is, The Bible is full of allegorical stories that can be interpreted in a number of ways. It was written by men – fallible, imperfect human beings, each with his own agenda and his own prejudices. In addition, it has been passed down through generation after generation, translated, re-interpreted, changed (can anyone say Council of Nicea?), and changed again. No one can truly say that The Bible we read today bears any resemblance to what was originally written.
Of course, if you still believe that The Bible, literally translated, is the final word on the matter, I’ll just ask this: If The Bible tells us that God made man in his own image, wouldn’t that include gay human beings too? And, if that’s so, who are we mere humans to question God’s design?
I don’t understand where this fear of same-sex marriage – of gay people in general – came from. When I joined the United States Army in 1990, I was asked – twice – if I was, or ever had been, a member of the Communist party or of any organization dedicated to the violent overthrow of the government of the United States. I was asked if I was, or ever had been, gay, six times. Six times! Are gay people three times more likely to devote themselves to the destruction of freedom?
Are gay people three times more likely to be bent on bringing about the violent overthrow of the government of the United States? To think this, even for a moment, is ridiculous to the point of absurdity.
I know several same-sex couples. These are not men who haunt dark parking lots outside of adult bookstores. They are committed, hardworking Americans trying to make a living. And, they are as devoted to each other as any “straight” couple I’ve seen.
During my time on this planet, I’ve learned that on most issues there are many points of view. Often, there is more than one “right” answer – more than one way to believe; “There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy,” as William Shakespeare tells us.
In this case, however, the simple fact is this: same-sex marriage should not be a political issue. It is a human issue about justice, equality, and ending discrimination against a group of American citizens.
Too often, this argument revolves around hate and fear, when it should revolve around love. We spend – if we’re lucky – 70 or 80 years on this little ball of dust before we “shuffle off this mortal coil,” so why not try to be happy – and allow others to be happy – while we’re here?
I ask opponents of same-sex marriage to consider a few more simple questions: Does denying the happiness of others make you any happier? How does the marriage of two other people – no matter their genders – affect your marriage? Does defeating same-sex marriage make your own marriage – or any other marriage – stronger?
No one is telling you that you have to be gay. Nor is anyone saying that you have to like gay people or their lifestyle. But, that doesn’t make gay people any less human than you are. It doesn’t make them any less an American citizen than you are. And it certainly doesn’t give you the right to discriminate against them. They are not asking for special treatment or privileges, only for equality. They want – and deserve – the same treatment and respect that every other American citizen receives, no more, no less.
This issue is not important only for gay Americans; it is important for all Americans – gay, straight, black, white, Democrat, Republican, believer, atheist, and everyone in between. You must realize that once you deny equality to one person, or one group of people – once you see them or treat them as something less than you are – you make it that much easier to see everyone as something less than you are. And, eventually, someone will do the same to you. Someday they will come for your rights as well…and there will be no one left to speak out for you.
Mr. Governor; I sincerely hope you will find the courage to help end discrimination against your fellow citizens by signing the bill to allow same-sex marriage in New Jersey.
Thank you,
Bud Koenemund
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (formerly South Orange, New Jersey)
16 February 2012
08 December 2011
God is Gay
For Gov. Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, and Pat Robertson
God is Gay
God is Straight
God is Developmentally Disabled
God is a Rocket Scientist
God is Physically Deformed
God is a Supermodel
God is Black
God is White
God is Red
God is Yellow
God is a Man
God is a Woman
God is a Child
God is a Christian
God is a Muslim
God is a Jew
God is an Atheist
God is a Democrat
God is a Republican
God is an Independent
God is a Red Sox fan
God is a Yankee fan
God is You
God is Me
If God made us in his own image, he made all of us in that image.
He is just like each of us…
…except without the ignorance and mindless hate.
God is Gay
God is Straight
God is Developmentally Disabled
God is a Rocket Scientist
God is Physically Deformed
God is a Supermodel
God is Black
God is White
God is Red
God is Yellow
God is a Man
God is a Woman
God is a Child
God is a Christian
God is a Muslim
God is a Jew
God is an Atheist
God is a Democrat
God is a Republican
God is an Independent
God is a Red Sox fan
God is a Yankee fan
God is You
God is Me
If God made us in his own image, he made all of us in that image.
He is just like each of us…
…except without the ignorance and mindless hate.
05 December 2011
For Virginia O'Hanlon
Yes, once again, it's that time of the year. And, once again, I'm just not feeling in the "holiday" spirit. In spite of that -- or perhaps because of it -- here is my favorite newspaper editorial of all time. It was written in 1897, by Francis Pharcellus Church of the New York Sun. (No matter how depressed and cynical I get during the year, this always cheers me up.)
Merry Christmas!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is there a Santa Claus?
We take pleasure in answering at once and thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:
Dear Editor:
I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
- Virginia O'Hanlon
115 West Ninety-Fifth Street
Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
Merry Christmas!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is there a Santa Claus?
We take pleasure in answering at once and thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:
Dear Editor:
I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
- Virginia O'Hanlon
115 West Ninety-Fifth Street
Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
17 October 2011
Those Who Cannot Remember the Past
This is my entry in the 2011 Short Short Fiction Contest sponsored by Esquire magazine and the Aspen Writers' Foundation. The story had to be exactly 78 words - to celebrate the 78th anniversary of Esquire.
I have included the photograph - a still taken from a YouTube video of an Occupy Wall Street march - that inspired the story.
When I saw the blonde woman toast the protesters, I immediately thought about the attitude and words attributed to Marie Antoinette - "Let them eat cake!"
Then I recalled the warning of George Santayana - "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." I thought about the events that have taken place this year in Greece, London, throughout the Middle East, and now in Rome. And, I thought, if it can happen there, it could happen here as well.
I don't agree with everything the Occupy Wall Street protesters are saying/demanding, but I understand where their anger is coming from.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Those Who Cannot Remember the Past
They gathered on the gilded balconies of Wall Street, overlooking the rabble – the indebted, those without jobs, those left homeless by "the bubble," the hopeless, the hungry – the so-called 99 percent. They laughed, took pictures, and mocked the people as they drank champagne. And, being well-schooled in margins, puts and calls, dollars and cents – but less so in common sense – they could not feel the heat of the coming fire; the glow of which already lit the horizon.
I have included the photograph - a still taken from a YouTube video of an Occupy Wall Street march - that inspired the story.
When I saw the blonde woman toast the protesters, I immediately thought about the attitude and words attributed to Marie Antoinette - "Let them eat cake!"
Then I recalled the warning of George Santayana - "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." I thought about the events that have taken place this year in Greece, London, throughout the Middle East, and now in Rome. And, I thought, if it can happen there, it could happen here as well.
I don't agree with everything the Occupy Wall Street protesters are saying/demanding, but I understand where their anger is coming from.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Those Who Cannot Remember the Past
They gathered on the gilded balconies of Wall Street, overlooking the rabble – the indebted, those without jobs, those left homeless by "the bubble," the hopeless, the hungry – the so-called 99 percent. They laughed, took pictures, and mocked the people as they drank champagne. And, being well-schooled in margins, puts and calls, dollars and cents – but less so in common sense – they could not feel the heat of the coming fire; the glow of which already lit the horizon.
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