Accentuate the Positive

By Bud Koenemund

Last night, someone on Facebook claimed "you Liberals only want to talk about the negative things. You refuse to acknowledge all the positive things that are going on in the country."

You're right. We should talk about all the good things that have happened. Things that will impact this country long after Trump is out of office.

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Let's start with the $1.6 TRILLION (estimated) added to the national debt by the Republican Tax Scam...errr...Plan. And, let's remember that not only will that money have to be paid back some day, but the interest that accumulates on it will weigh us down that much more.

Let's say we're paying one percent interest on that debt - just one percent. In simple interest, that's an additional $16 BILLION a year, just on that piece of the debt.

And, of course, the interest isn't simple. It compounds. So, we'll owe interest on the interest on the interest on the interest...

Additionally, who is buying our debt? China and Saudi Arabia are two of the biggest. It's probably not a good idea for foreign powers to own our debt, and (potentially) wield great power over us because of it.

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Pulling out of the Iran nuclear deal.

Higher gas prices. (So much for that tax cut.)

Trust in the US diminished around the world.

Boeing losing orders for 110 aircraft.

Saudi Arabia pledging to build nuclear weapons if Iran restarts their program. (Because more nuclear weapons make us safer.)

Oh, and not to mention, Trump is already putting pressure on European countries (you know, our allies) to stop doing business with Iran...including buying oil. Hmmm, maybe they can replace those supplies by buying from Russia. And, take a wild guess who has his fingers in the largest oil company in Russia...Trump's Sugar Vladdy. A nice little side benefit.

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Rolling back environmental regulations.

Because, seriously, who needs clean air, water, and soil tomorrow when there are a few more pennies to be made today?

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And, while we're talking about tomorrow...

Looming cuts to Social Security and Medicare. Yes, Trump swore up and down he wouldn't cut those. Of course, he also swore Mexico would pay for his wall. But, once again, Paul Ryan is planning to cut "entitlements" - a wonderful Republican euphemism for "money taxpayers have paid in over their entire working lives." - in order to control the deficit. Uh, the deficit they skyrocketed with the tax plan.

Wanna bet Trump will go along with whatever Congress sends him? I mean, screw those lazy, old people! Sitting around, enjoying their golden years! Who needs them?!

The genius of the plan is that cuts to Medicare will mean more people die sooner, and thus be less of a burden on the Social Security system, right?

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ICE agents patrolling bus and train stations demanding ID from "people who don't look American."

"People who don't look American?!" Gestapo much? "Paper, please!"

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And, while we're talking about Nazis...

The Alt-Right, Neo-Nazi cockroaches crawling out into the daylight because "there are fine people on both sides."

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Cutting funding for the Affordable Care Act and CHIP.

Because the guy who reportedly asks to start meetings with a prayer (another lie), wants to do exactly what Jesus would do...strip away health care coverage from those least able to afford it on their own.

Hey, if those kids want health insurance, let 'em drop out of daycare and get a stinkin' job like the rest of us!

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A bright, shiny military parade in Washington, DC.

$30 million (in the latest plan) to roll tanks down the streets, damaging them - the streets, not the tanks - in the process, so Cadet Bone Spurs can wear his medals from military school, and strut like a tin-pot dictator playing with his toys.

By the way, (again, according to the latest estimate) the $30 million could house every homeless veteran in the US for six months. But, yeah; Trump cares about our veterans.

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Oh, and Trump's "trade war" with China.

The aforementioned US debt China holds? Eh, probably not important.

Instead of raising tariffs on US products (so far), China has already cut their purchases of soybeans. But, I'm sure that won't hurt US farmers; most of them in states that voted for Trump.

And all that inexpensive stuff you get at Walmart? Get ready for a surprise.

Man, higher prices on retail goods made in China, and higher gas prices? It's like the little guy just can't get ahead.

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And, I haven't even mentioned the first President to trend on Twitter alongside the hashtag #PeePeeTape. The first President to be sued by a porn star. Record setting turnover in the Cabinet and White House staff. Oh, and the 23 indictments (currently) and the guilty please related to the Russia investigation.

Yay Trump! Praise Trump!

North Pole Announces Job Cuts

Santa's workshop "underwater" as Kringle appears before Congress

 

By Bud Koenemund

6 December 2012

 

WASHINGTON, D.C. (Disassociated Press) – Though surrounded by frozen wasteland, the North Pole has long been immune to cooling economic climates. Now, however, the world-wide financial crisis has reached into the icy expanse above the Arctic Circle.

  Santa Claus Incorporated today announced plans to cut more than 20 percent of its elven work force, and nearly 25 percent of its flying reindeer staff. The cuts come less than three weeks before Christmas – traditionally Santa Claus' busiest season – and were made in an effort to save money and streamline business operations, a North Pole spokesman said.

  "Decades of increasing production and delivery costs, as well as steadily rising elf and reindeer wages and health care costs have compelled us to downsize our workforce," said Yukon Cornelius.

  In an additional statement, SCI revealed the mortgage for Santa's workshop is underwater – the sale value of the workshop and surrounding property is worth less than the amount remaining on the mortgage.

  "SCI tried to re-finance this loan, but property values this far north have never been high, and it's difficult to make mortgage payments when you give away toys for free," said Cornelius.

  As the job cuts were being announced, Kris Kringle, CEO of Santa Claus Incorporated, appeared before the Joint Congressional Subcommittee for Supercilious Affairs to request a nearly $250 billion corporate bail-out package.

  During questioning by Rep. Barney Frank (D – MA), subcommittee chairman, Kringle admitted that Santa Claus stands in the growing shadow of a financial crisis.

  "Without a substantial aid package from Congress, Santa Claus could very well cease to exist," Kringle said. "We need an infusion of capital to sustain us while we re-vamp our operations."

  Frank pressed Kringle on the wisdom of his current business model and on repeated calls for cuts in management compensation.

  "From time immemorial, we have provided toys to children around the world, in exchange for nothing more than good behavior, stale cookies, and warm milk," Kringle said. "And, despite years of parental threats, we have never left a single child a lump of coal in their stocking. But, rising costs are forcing us to re-examine this generosity."

  "We must re-tool our plants and our workforce in order to produce toys more efficiently and at a lower cost, while at the same time, restoring the world's faith in Santa Claus," Kringle said.

  Committee member Senator Joe Lieberman (I – CT) questioned Kringle regarding the status of his mortgage.

  "Years ago, Chase – aware of our business model; our limited collateral and earning potential – approved our loan. They assured SCI real estate prices would continue to rise, and that there would always be more money available," Kringle claimed. "Now, we're drowning and they want to hand us a cement block.

  The International Brotherhood of Elves quickly responded to the announcement of job cuts and Kringle's statements before Congress.

  "Despite decades of poor treatment by management, especially a lack of dental care, the Elves have offered SCI several contract give-backs in an effort to preserve jobs," said a union leader who gave his name only as Hermey. "But, the problems at SCI extend far beyond our contract."

  "For years, SCI has been steadily cutting our workforce as they've outsourced more and more work to China and Korea in an effort to increase corporate profits. Unfortunately, toy quality has suffered and now consumers are turning to other sources for their Christmas gifts," Hermey said.

  Hermey cited SCI distribution of Chinese-manufactured toys containing lead-based paint as the primary factor for the decline in demand.

  Representatives of the Federated Union of Reindeer could not be reached for comment.

  At the White House, President Barack Obama said that he is watching the crisis closely.

  "We must not underestimate this crisis," Mr. Obama said. "If Santa Claus goes under, his suppliers and their employees will suffer as well."

  Several economic experts have warned ripples of SCI's fall could spread globally; even as far as Hanukkah Harry Industries – the largest competitor of Santa Claus.

  Rep. John Boehner, (R – OH), Speaker of the House of Representatives, is among several members of Congress opposed to a bail-out of Santa Claus.

  "This is not our crisis to solve. The North Pole is not U.S. territory and Mr. Kringle is not an American citizen," Boehner said. "He should petition Canada, Norway, or Russia; or perhaps even the United Nations for the emergency funding he needs."

  Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R – KY) seconded Boehner's rejection of aid.

  "We are not in the business of giving handouts to the 99 percent of individuals claiming to be in danger of losing their homes or small businesses in this economic crisis," he said.

 

  Kringle warned that without the bail-out funds, "Presents may not be delivered this Christmas Eve."