18 August 2012

The Commandments of Will

So, I've been digging through The Bible, and I've discovered several more of God's commandments meant to be obeyed without question or interpretation:


The Commandments of Will
(Researched and collected by The Mad Sonneteer)

1. The Word of Will is eternal and unchanging. To question His authorship shall be heresy. (Lev. 28: 13-14)

2. Thou shalt not take the name of Will in vain. (Deut. 35: 17)

3. Thou shalt remember the sonnets and keep them holy. (Ex. 41: 7)

4. Thou shalt not worship Oxford as I have commanded thee worship Will. (Lev. 28: 24)

5. Thou shalt smite Oxfordians with the Word of Will that they might repent their sin. (Deut. 35: 33)

6. Thou shalt not lie with an Oxfordian as with a Stratfordian. (Lev. 28: 69)

7. The Oxfordian lifestyle shall be considered an abomination, and the blasphemous shall burn in the eternal fires of summer-session Remedial English classes. (Lev. 28: 10-11)

8. Thou shalt not suffer Russell Brand to portray any character of Will. (Prov. 32: 67)

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